


in the hopes of a few minutes more

by castielfalls



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 06:59:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15552204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielfalls/pseuds/castielfalls
Summary: peter and thor knew each other from a long time ago, until they went their separate ways after peter's career skyrocketed. they haven't talked for years, and peter discovers that thor has pursued writing and he wonders why he writes like he's running out of time.





	in the hopes of a few minutes more

_I think that when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away. You snap back to being important to each other because you are._

**\- Orange is the New Black**

* * *

  **November, 1971**

* * *

 ****_Before this book begins, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm clinging onto the hope that one day you'll find this book in a bookstore and read it. I miss you, I miss you a lot. I just want to see you one more time, to tell y_

Thor's fingers freeze just above the next few letters. The words don't work together, none of the keys feel right against his fingertips and the clacking of the keys is off. He frowns, letting his hands drop to the sides of the typewriter in frustration. He isn't used to this sort of writing. Normally, he would be writing of mythical gods and legends parents would tell their children as bedtime stories. But this? This time, it's different. This time, it actually matters. This time, it's the very last thing he's going to leave in this world and  _none of the words are fucking working_. He picks up the typewriter and hurls it against the wall, hands trembling with adrenaline. It makes a loud noise as it collides with the wall, falling down as the keys break off and scatter across the wooden tiles. Thor can afford a new one so he doesn't bother with attempting to salvage the wrecked typewriter.

He has another meet-up tomorrow at a book store in New York. He has to sign copies of his latest release, a book about Greek mythology and a romantic storyline along the lines of that. He thought the story was cliché, but it turned out to be a hit. His book sold out across the country and he skyrocketed to fame. He knows he has adoring fans everywhere, people willing to pay hundreds just to have him breathe the same air as them. He's grateful for that, yet he isn't looking forward to the signing. That particular bookstore happens to love a particular rock band named  _Guardians of the Galaxy_ , whose frontman is a particular man named Peter Quill, who used to be the lover of a particular writer named Thor Odinson. He knows Peter has something on for a popular music awards show that would be broadcasted live around the time he's going to be at the bookstore. He's going to end up watching Peter on the small television that's propped up on the wall while he signs books for people. His face will be tainted by static, the poor satellite connection ruining the quality, but Peter will pull that same beautiful smile he always had and Thor will find himself falling in love again. It's like clockwork, he doesn't even realise whenever it happens. He falls in love every time he sees Peter's face pop up on the grainy television or every time he hears one of his songs on the radio. Thor himself has been on the media a few times for his bestselling books and he wonders if Peter watches him. If he does, does he miss him? Thor knows  _he_  misses him.

He sighs, pulling out a bag and filling it with some permanent markers and pens. He puts in a couple of posters, as well as limited edition copies of the book with extra content inside. He had ten signed copies and he was going to give it to every tenth person in line since the meet-up was limited to a hundred people only. His mind is set on the signing event not being ruined but now that he recalled what bookstore it was held at, he can only be distracted by thoughts of a man who calls himself Star-Lord.

Last Thor heard, Peter and his band were on tour. If memory serves him well, Peter should be hitting Missouri in three days. Can he make it? He can. He  _will_. He'll just have a meet-up in a Missouri bookstore. With any luck, Peter would come. He would steal the show and his heart yet again, like it's easy. And it  _is_  easy. Thor doesn't think he can ever love anyone as much as he loves Peter.

He looks back on the stack of unopened letters on his desk, faintly remembering one delivered from an address in Missouri. Thor reaches for the stack, tossing letter by letter behind him onto the ground, briskly reading every address until he finally finds it.  _Missouri_. His fingers trace the edges of the pale yellow envelop absently, hesitating over opening it. Longing for Peter wins the debate and Thor tears it open, pulling the letter out as his eyes start running over the words. It is just as he was hoping: A bookstore manager requesting his presence for a meet-up in promotion of his upcoming book and signing session for his latest release. All he needs now is to send a letter back. He turns back and stares at the broken typewriter lying on the ground.

"Damn it," he mutters, glancing at his coat. He will have to buy another typewriter before the shop closes, but he's tired. He's too exhausted to heave himself out of his apartment into the bitter winter. His body and energy fails him nowadays, so he calls Valkyrie. Valkyrie is his neighbour and friend and she often ran errands for him if he wasn't free enough to do it himself.

" _Hi, Thor. What's up?_ " Valkyrie picks up. Thor can hear the faint laughter of her girlfriend in the background. It sounds like they're watching a romantic comedy.

He answers, "Val, hello. I have to get a new typewriter but I'm... in the middle of something else."

Valkyrie sighs from the other side, " _So in other words, you want me to pick it up for you_."

Thor says, "Yes. Yes, that is exactly it."

She nods to herself, " _I can get it to you in like, half an hour. I was on my way out actually, so I can bring it to you on my way home_."

Thor smiles, grateful for a friend like Val, "Thank you, Valkyrie. I'll pay you when you return."

Thor hangs up and looks back at the stack of letters, every envelope laid out in front of him, and one of them sickens him. It makes his insides turn in the most unpleasant ways possible. He picks it out and shoves it into a drawer, locking it and stuffing the key in an open notebook. He breaths. In and out, like Tony showed him.  _It's fine_. He lies on his bed and tries to take his mind off the letter. He hates what's on it and wants to light it on fire, but it isn't like that would change anything.

God, he just wants Peter there with him.

* * *

Thor doesn't know when he fell asleep, but he did, and the doorbell ringing awakens him. He grumbles tiredly as he gets up, opening the door to see Valkyrie's bright face, a box in her hands. 

"Merry Christmas," she jokes, passing the package to Thor. He places it on the table and opens the box, looking over the brand new typewriter appreciatively.

He grins gratefully, passing her the money he'd prepared earlier, "Thank you."

Valkyrie smiles back at him, entering the apartment as she takes the cash, "No problem." Her eyes land on the broken typewriter and she frowns, pointing at it, "You did that?"

Thor glances at the mess and shrugs, "I was angry."

Valkyrie says, pointing out the obvious, "It isn't good." He wonders if Valkyrie thinks he's dumb.

"I'm actually really tired now. I'm sorry, Valkyrie," Thor says, his tone lacking sincerity.

Valkyrie nods understandingly, walking back to the door, "Okay. Good night, Thor."

He returns the greeting and then she's gone. Thor locks the door after her and sinks down the wooden surface of it, pressing his hands to his face as he lets out a shaky breath. The letter is all he can think of. The cracks in his fingers let his eyes land on the new typewriter and he removes his hands from his face, shifting closer to it. Still on the floor, he sets up the typewriter. When the ribbon is secured and the keys are in place, he does what he's always been able to do. He types.

 _Dear Miss,_  
_I would love to do a signing at your bookstore in Missouri. Would November 20 be a good date?_

* * *

Thor settles himself down at his small table in the Missouri bookstore. It's deserted since the bookstore isn't open yet. Wanda leads him to a clearing in the centre of the store, a table set up and two promotional posters put up on each side of the plastic table.

She gives him a warm smile and tells him, "We start letting them in in about five minutes, so get ready. Take as long as you need."

Thor nods, returning the grin, "Thank you."

Wanda leaves him to set up and he takes out his permanent markers and pens, laying them out on the stack of posters. His book is about to be adapted into a movie, so the signings were partially promotion for the movie and partially promotion for his book. He hides the ten special books under his table just as he hears talking become louder and louder. Wanda must have let them in. Soon, the line has formed and Thor readies his pen. Most of the fans just tell him how he's their 'idol' and that they 'love him'. He simply thanks them and says he loves them too. Is love between strangers even real? Whether it's romantic or platonic, or idol admiration, is it real or just humans lying to themselves about their affections?

When the tenth person reaches the front of the line, he remains silent, pushing a copy of the book to Thor and he signs it, asking, "Whose name do I write?"

"Peter will do."

"P-Peter?" Thor stutters, looking up at that beautiful face he has engraved into his mind. Eyes of the sea's green and pebbles and flecks of sun and ocean blue hit him and suddenly he's falling. He's falling and falling and he doesn't know when will he stop.

"It's been a long time," Peter smiles.

He looks tired, like he's been searching the whole world for Thor. He's older than when he last saw him, of course, but he looks grown. His hair's a bit longer and wavier, but Thor likes it better like this. His sideburns are different, delivering a more 70's vibe. He's like fine wine, only getting better with age.

"So, I read in the papers that you're a writer now."

Thor returns, still staring at Peter as if he can't believe he's really here, "And you're a rock star."

Peter lets out a nervous laugh and Thor feels his buried feelings breaking through the wall he's built over the year. Of course Peter's nervous — Thor can see his cheeks redden slightly and his fingers drum the table unconsciously.

Peter breaks into a smile. It's small, but it's also gentle and relieved all in one and Thor just wants to tell him he misses him, but Peter steals his words.

"I miss you," Peter whispers, and only Thor can hear him.

It's as if for that one moment, the world has only two people. Just the two of them. Thor can't help but stand up and give him a hug, breathing in the familiar scent of the Milano and Peter's cologne.

Peter returns it and Thor whispers back, "I miss you too. Why'd you ever leave me?"

Peter pulls away, his hand running down Thor's arm, down to hold his hand, "Honestly? I don't have a clue either."

They stand there quietly for a while, just staring, taking each other in. Thor can't believe Peter is really right here in front of him.

It seems like Peter feels the same, because he kisses Thor's hand adoringly as he says, "God, you're still so beautiful. And this whole writer thing you've got going on? It's incredible."

Thor teases, his heartbeat deafening in his ears, "Do you even read my books?"

Shyness stains Peter's cheeks as he answers, "Enough to know that you dedicate every book to me."

_For Peter, always._

"I dedicate every day to you too, you know," he says before he can think over his words again.

It's barely a whisper, so soft and quiet. If Peter isn't paying attention, he will have missed it, but he always pays attention when it comes to Thor.

He asks, anxiousness creeping into his tone, "What does that mean?"

Thor shakes his head, "Nothing. You're on tour now, right?"

Peter nods, his thumb trailing over Thor's knuckles, "Yeah. Hey, wait."

Thor looks at him expectingly and Peter gives him the most boyish smile he's ever seen, "Tour with me."

"What?" Thor can't believe his ears. _He's really asking him to tour with him?_

Peter nods, grinning, "I'm not kidding, you should come with me. It's my chance to show you around places, too. You know we always wanted to travel together but never had the money to make it work."

He smiles, leaning in closer the more excited he gets about the idea. Someone near the back of the line yells for him to 'hurry the fuck up', but Thor can barely make it out with Peter's face in such close proximity to his. And oh, he is so stupidly in love with Peter Quill even after all these years, so of course he says yes.

"Okay," Thor says simply.

* * *

It doesn’t take Thor very long to pack for the tour. He doesn’t keep much around — the lonely life of a writer whose words barely pay the rent. Plus, Peter’s there to help him out. They take Thor’s typewriter and manuscripts, his clothes and some personal items. Nebula, Mantis and Drax wait downstairs in the Guardians’ car, which Peter pridefully informs Thor that he’d named ‘the Milano’. When Peter has Thor’s things loaded onto the vehicle, he takes the driver’s seat and Thor gets passenger, courtesy of the other four band members. The only people who speak are Thor and Peter, until Gamora breaks the silence.

“Thor, we’re sorry,” she says, sincerity in every word. “We didn’t realize that the music got in the way of you and Peter. If we had known, we would have—“

“It doesn’t matter,” Thor responds. 

Though resentment has ebbed away over the years, he has to admit that there was still a part of him that bears bitterness towards the other four. 

Peter shoots him a charming smile, “I’m glad to have you back. It’s really been way too long, Thor.” 

Nebula speaks up from the backseat, “Do you still blame us?”

Thor wants to blame them, he really does. He wants to ask them why did they tear him and Peter apart all those years ago, wants to blame them for everything that happened. Alas, he can’t, because that would be wishful thinking on his part, that it was their fault. Really, it wouldn’t have worked out in the long-term, at least not back then. They were both young and stupid, rushing headfirst into careers and relationships second. Waking up in the morning became less of each other and more of the music or the typewriter. Thor spent his days writing in his room as much as Peter spent his nights jamming in the studio.

“No,” Thor sighs. “No, I don’t.”

Peter sends another smile his way as he makes a turn, “This is good. So nobody has any hard feelings?” 

The four band members shake their heads in response while Thor just returns the grin. It’s hard to say no to a man you’ve loved. Thor thinks back to where they failed and in every place he checked, the only common thread has been their youthful stupidity. But they’re older now, different. Peter smiles at him the same way he did years ago, and Thor’s heard his songs. He knows they’re about him.

And yeah, _they’re older now, different._

Maybe this time is the one where they finally work out. 


End file.
